a piece of the puzzle

       I decided, the past two years have been one vivid roller coaster, not only that of colorful experiences many of which I don't remember but experiences that have one by one come together and added to this little thing I call the puzzle of my life.  


The following is an email I exchanged with Robert Breining the creator of POZIAM, the first email was to Robert on his article on his article "Evolution of a Cyber Activist"the same day I was diagnosed, January 26th, 2010.  

Robert,                                                                                                                              February 23, 2010

 How are you, My name is Michael Lloyd.  I read your blog on thebody.com entitled; "Evolution of a Cyber-activist."  I am 20 years old.  On January 26, 2010, same day your blog was posted I had a notion to go into a clinic here where I live in Orlando Florida, and got tested.  I was tested with the 20 mins, rapit fingerprick test.  Not only three minutes after I sat in the waiting room a doctor walked out and called me back, and told me I was 'reactive,positive'  blood work was taken and on February 3rd went back and doctor told me I was positive, wanted to email you because, your blog really has sunk deep with me, since I have been doing meth for about a year now, off and on, not regularly.  For the past 2 months I have been feeling th urge to smoke it almost everyday now, and I was curious, what advice you have to me as far as, is it something I tell parents about, or do I go join an N.A class as you said you did?  Would really appreciate to hear back from you.  Hope you have a good week.

 Michael.

About two days later Robert got back to me saying;

Michael ,

Thank you for your email and comments about my blog. I was diagnosed about the same age as you. It is a process man and you will get through it. It took me 5 yrs to get to the place I am today. I advise you to stay connected with others who are HIV+. It is important to know your not alone. I told my mother I was Using and HIV+ because I couldn't stop. I know my mother was afraid that I was using meth and cocaine but was glad I realized I needed help. That is the first step - Admitting you have a problem. Most of the time our friends and family support us and often shock us with the amount of love they offer.But it all starts with you. You must admit you have a problem with the meth. I went to NA meetings because I wanted to stop and had no where to turn. If I were you I would start attending meetings. You can tell you parents about the Meth and not the HIV if that make you more comfortable. Remember move at your own pace but don't stop on the track. You'll get hit by the train. I would advise you to join my network at www.poziam.com and reach out. There is a POZ-Sober & Clean group on POZIAM for this type of support.

Getting it off your chest and saying "I have a drug problem or I have HIV" is tough but when it is all said and done... You will feel 100 times better.

Please don't hesitate to email me with more questions. Best to you on this journey

Robert Breining

HIV/AIDS Cyber-Activist,Blogger & Social Network Guru 

www.poziam.com

We are of the belief that friendship is born the moment when one person says to another "What? You too? I thought I was the only one!"

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          Today, June 8, 2012, I am happy to say, I am still in contact with Robert, and just finished a really wonderful Skype chat with him.  For months, we had exchanged messages via facebook, and we have texted here and there but haven't ever really chatted, but I never really knew if I'd see the man who truthfully changed my life forever.  For granted we all have those moments when we are diagnosed where we research other peoples stories, but how often do you come actually read someones blog and have it impact you and stick for years?  Not many if you ask me.  

          I won't give away too much of the rest of my story, considering if you go back in my blog its all right there, but Robert reached out to me a couple weeks ago and asked if I wanted to come share my story on his radio show POZIAM,  and I said, "No way! I'd love to!"  He asked me what I wanted to talk about, and I said, well me of course, and my story.  Theres a reason everyone comes into each others lives, whether we choose to recognize that for good or bad, the important part is taking the good out of each and every situation.  A couple weeks ago I had no clue what I was going to say, in fact, I almost backed out until recently.  I was in a great relationship, and thought I met the love of my life, and things unfortunately didn't work out, and I kept coming back to one solid thing, whats held me together, first and foremost my faith in God, and second my parents and family and friends.  

   I wanted to pull myself away from the equation, and just not sure, express my thoughts I guess?  For over a year now I have wanted to get actively involved in HIV advocacy work, did I know how, or where to go, or who to talk to?  Absolutely freaking not!  But I am blessed to say, we all come back into each others lives for a reason one way or another, and I think I take a lot of this to my head, not the radio thing, but the blessed life I've been given, and the blessings of friendship and family.  I read on a daily basis stories of many of you about how you came from broken homes, or your mother or father died when you were young.  For granted I am adopted and Mark & Lori Lloyd, you both have always been my family, but when it comes down to it, I have nothing to complain about, and I think the past two years of fighting, and the terror of meth addiction, has all brought to this point where I have been given such an amazing opportunity to reach out, and tell the world, tell my friends, tell my family, and express to Robert what I've gone through, and how that simple blog he shared, and him reaching back out to me, was the first glimmer of hope for me, that said, "Michael.... your going to beat this, and it won't be easy, but there are people who care".  So I do thank all of you who have supported me over the past couple years, and I am proud to say everything is finally beginning to come together for me.  

Robert, thank you for replying back to me on February 25, 2010.  I was a lost little boy, stuck in a  world of meth, and newly diagnosed and didn't know where to go, and I thank you for being that shining puzzle piece in the pile of thousands of pieces, that still today has been a shining glimmer of hope for me to keep fighting.  

For all of you who are interested in hearing my wonderful interview with Robert Breining himself , you can click the link below, and listen in LIVE, this Sunday at 9pm, and infact call in and ask me questions.  

                      Straight to the Point with Michael Lloyd - POZIAM RADIO