Tuesday, July 17, 2012


       What is it about taking that next step, that were always so afraid of?  For year's I've been hesitant, and pushed out the idea of living my life to the fullest.  Always so quick to have an opinion, yet all the while, behind closed doors, I was shooting up, and doing risky sexual behavior, while neglecting those who loved me so much.  To answer that phone of a loved one and know in their voice, they were unsure if they'd ever talk to you again, was a tone of which was ignored for years - yet was blown off time after time, due to the selfish craving and desire of addiction.  The uncertainty of the unknown is such a complex realm, or if your need it in simpler terms,  a very grey area.  However it doesn't have to be grey, or complex.

   No dream is too big, nor too high to reach, each goal is beyond priceless, and unique to its beholder.  Not to sound too philosophical, but ultimately, as I talked about in my last blog, HIVHAVEN.COM - What do you Want Out Of Life? we all have that choice, that decision that only we can make, regardless of the negativity the outside world wants to stir up to interfere that choice, YOU have the power to follow through, and do anything you want to do.

    Not only have the past few months been remarkable, but they've flown by faster than a bullet leaving the barrel of a gun, as I talked about just after my break up in May It's all a Blur .  Everyone constantly talks about that closure, or going back with the eraser to clean up outside the lines of a drawing, but when you think about it, why would one, after coming so far, want to go back to their past, for granted we all go through, and yes I'm going to use my phrase, "crap", but why go backwards?

  The time between my trip to New York City with my best friend Kurt Wagner has been filled with so many precious opportunities, that I believe God put into my life for a reason, and if it wasn't for making that crucial decision in the sour relationship I had, most likely I'd still be falling into a pit.  And when I sit here this morning at 1:45, with suitcases on my bed, and clothes rumbling in the drier in preparation for my flight to Washington D.C. at 11:38 today for the International AIDS Conference, I sit and have chills, knowing, making that phone call, is the most precious thing anyone can do, but furthermore beyond that, opening your, heart and mind to the chance to make a risk, and accepting the possibility of failure but realizing one grows the most during times of uncertainty, hearing that voice on the other end of the phone ' I am so proud of you," is the most precious gift in the entire world.  STAND UP, BE BRAVE, AND MAKE THAT FIRST STEP.

Thank you all so much for the support, and prayers.

If your interested in supporting me for conference,  your welcome to Email Michael here and find out what ways you can help me on my trip.

LOve you all.


Monday, July 16, 2012

what do you want out of life

     Over the past few years its seldom you'll hear me sit and say I have any regrets, mainly because if it wasn't for all the circumstances of which I puit myself in, and was put into on behalf of someone else, I wouldn't be here today.  Come to learn, and many people have this misconception, that were all in this together, for granted, if you have HIV, maybe thats your opinion, however ultimately, that comes down  to the mere ideology, what do you want out of life?

With the culmination of my methamphetamine addiction ending in, watching my fathers in tears in his lazy boy recliner and sitting in the backseat of a police car, going down the 408 ( East West Expressway - in Orlando, FL) at 3 am, in handcuffs.  That was an experience that I refuse to ever put myself into ever again.  Who know, back in 2008 when someone said, hey do you want to try a little bit of this, I would've said, 'yeah sure, why not?' Looking back, I was a freaking idiot.  Your probably wondering, how is it that someone so young, as I am 22 years old, could come to terms with the mere reality of the situation, and my addiction? It wasn't that difficult, I have been blogging now for a little over a year, and many people ask me, what inspired you to put your foot down and announce to the world, 'Hey! I am addicted to Meth!?" First and anyone who know's me directly can contest to the simple factor of, you have to be able to wake up and face yourself in the mirror everyday, and approve of what you see, otherwise nobody else will.  I've held on to that same reasoning for my self respect for years.  I constantly remind people, your human, we make mistakes, but, don't be merely mistaken by that and use it, as many do, for a crutch as to how you can get away with making bad decisions. 

 For a few months, I was living away from home with friends, rather a gay couple I met online, just after I was diagnosed with HIV back in January 2010.   If you were around in my life at that point you'll most likely remember me being beyond skinny, my eyes were always black, and I hardly ever left where I was, not to mention being on Adam4adam, for day's at a time, sometimes even 8 days upwards.  Needless to say, I'm sure I can come to terms with the fact that I wasn't in a good place what so ever in my life at that point.   

It was an odd situation, my brother graduated high school in June of 2010, I was still living downtown with this couple, and had been seeing someone, of which the relationship was solely based off of, smoking out of the glass pipe on the weekends, which previously for me, turned into shooting up. I remember refraining from drugs of any kind, that week prior, and I had the opportunity to get high just before Daniel's graduation, and I praise God for having angels protect over me, and lead me on the right path.  I specifically remember sitting at the old TD Waterhouse Center in Orlando, before they blew it up.  I was sitting my seat with my family and when they called his name amongst thousands, to walk across the stage I was filled with tears, "WOW!! My baby brother is graduating from high school!!!"  Insane, emotional moment, and was so happy to have been clean.  Over the next couple years I bounced back and forth between sobriety, and living under the influence of a controlled substance and refused to do anything about it.  

Negativity has always been something that, I've always, until recently identified or let bring me down, until I realized, and the common saying; ' nobody can make you inferior without your consent' goes to show in every situation, with another person.  Who's to say that anyone, regardless of who they are, or what purpose they serve in your life, is allowed to have any control over how you choose to feel about yourself.  Thats always been a battle with me.  Back in 2009 I was sexually abused by another man.  He was 27 at the time and I was about 19 I guess. For the past couple years, I chose to block that stage out of my life, and totally forget about it.  The mere shame or embarrassment that I put over myself like a child puts their head under the sheet at night when they cry themselves to sleep, is merely the same thing I was doing.  I finally came to terms with the rape last Monday, for a matter of fact.  It wasn't an easy thing, and with being in online talk radio, and beginning in HIV activism, I found it my role and responsibility on behalf of anyone else who was sexually abused, to come clean and go on the record on my show and talk about it.  Merely for that sense of relief within myself, but also, I stayed quiet for several years because I was afraid, I didn't have anyone to look up to , merely because nobody else had spoken out about being sexually abused within the gay community.  The disappointing thing is, people do talk about it, but wait and write books 30 years later.  Thinking back, with all the different crazy circumstances one creates for themselves based on holding grudges or harboring mixed feelings, your only making it harder on yourself.  With that said, I have been swamped with messages regarding the incident and my radio show last Wednesday, Straight to the Point with Michael Lloyd Dirty Laundry on Blog Talk Radio at 6:30 pm, asking me, how has this affected this around you.  My response has been, HOW HAS IT NOT?!!? Your friends and family may always act confused, or innocent in a situation but they know you the best and when something isn't right or not normal they know somethings going on, and merely ties directly back in to the single question you ask yourself every morning when you face yourself in the mirror; ' What do you Want Out of Life"  

I recently have been so blessed to land a job, and do my personal training work, as well as, moving forward, because ultimately if you choose to not move forward and dwell on what isn't than your never going to be able to embrace the future for what it could be.  

follow my other blog on: http://dailylifeofamethaddict.blogspot.com/2012/07/what-do-you-want-out-of-life.html
facebook: www.facebook.com/mikeslloyd
Straight to the Point Radio : http://www.blogtalkradio.com/straight-to-the-point
Ttwitter: https://twitter.com/mikeslloyd

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Campaign for IAC

          My name is Michael Lloyd, I am a 22 year old living in Orlando, FL with HIV,  I have been positive for two years and currently have come to terms with the choices I have made in my past.  I find it very important, to help bring funding to local organizations to help those who need medication and testing, etc, however I am expanding on my role as an activist and speaking out on behalf of personal stories of which I have overcome, and have tremendously effected my life.  In efforts to make a difference I began blogging a year ago ( givinghopeonedayatatime.blogspot.com ) and have been interview on a couple online radio show's about my struggles with addiction and accepting myself after my diagnosis.  I recently started my own online radio podcast, on BlogTalk Radio, of which is entitled; Straight to the Point with Michael Lloyd, on both Wednesday and Friday evenings at 6:30pm.  Some of the issues discussed are homosexual references, as well as heterosexual issues primarily pertaining to health, fitness, HIV, sex, and other social issues.  I recently came to terms and went on the record on my show last night about being sexually abused back in 2009.  I believe its important for young people like myself, to come to terms with being raped.  The stigma behind being raped needs to be released, as for myself confronting the person who raped me, opened up a great deal of opportunity to mentor to other people. 

                                              (Michael's volunteer schedule for IAC)

          It has been a recent decision to go to Washington D.C, for the international AIDS Conference next week.  I have been corresponding with the team, and have 
been given the opportunity to volunteer for the conference, of which I will be doing 'Badge Check', and have also been offered from the AIDS Quilt, to volunteer with the unfolding, and folding of the Quilt during the ceremonies.  I am looking  I am looking forward to attending the conference in hopes to further educate myself on  treatment options, and  ways to bring more awareness to the Orlando area close together, with releasing the stigma of HIV, and relaying the message thats its OK, to  have HIV, and you can still  function, and be healthy and happy, without limitations.  My main goal is to bring back a sense of knowledge to make more of an emphasis  that HIV needs to stop, there is too much damn money spent, on funding for programs, the budget plan for next year for HIV/AIDS 2013 FY report has designated 3% of  the 70 billion dollar plan towards prevention.  Thats beyond unacceptable! Why don't we stop it.  I promise, that I will go to my grave, working as hard as I can, and  speaking out, and making people feel more comfortable as human beings, who aren't perfect and who do make mistakes of which can have more productive lives.   Everyone does have the responsibility of speaking out on behalf of those who have died of AIDS, and of those who do have HIV, need to rise up and take responsibility  for your actions , and  if you were raped like myself and perhaps thats how I got HIV, I don't know, we need to, on behalf of others, make sure this doesn't keep  happening. I ask you to support me, I have raised $100 so far, towards my goal of around $800-900 to go to Washington by next Wednesday.  Please, consider, don't  donate because Michael is asking, donate on behalf of your community, and the future well being of the United States of America. 

Below is the information:




Tuesday, July 3, 2012

the michael lloyd diet.

Many of you are constantly asking me , what do you eat, how do I maintain well rounded nutrition, and fitness in my every day life, more importantly all of you keep asking me, what do you do for your abs - truth is, NOTHING, I just eat right.

For those of you who do try and sip on a coke, or crinkle down the wrapper on a Reeses Peanut Butter cup chocolate for a quick snack, calories aside THROW THEM AWAY.  I see so many people, who workout at the gym, they maintain correct form in their workouts, they sleep the right amount at night, and they steer clear from drugs and excessive alcohol, but they get off that treadmill, run to the locker room, and they eat a protein bar or have a soda, "yeah I'm even talking to you, the man sitting there reading this with a diet coke in your hand."  I'll get to the protein bar thing later, but read the 'fine print' and do your research - even though the sugar may be low, check out the meaning, and the process in which "alcohol sugar" is broken down.

 Every morning, I start my day, typically between 4:30 and 5:30am, why so early? The question should be; Why not?  Theres 'X' amount of hours in the day when the sun is up, go ahead sometime this week into next, go to sleep a half hour earlier, set your alarm earlier, and get up with a clear mind, and start your day.  Once I've gotten dressed, I head straight to the kitchen, grab the carton of eggs, crack 3 on the side of a bowl and whisk them up, after heating a dime size amount of olive oil in a ceramic non-stick pan I'm ready to fry the eggs, just before I flip the eggs over

I rinse, and toss in FRESH baby spinach leaves, and crumble feta cheese.  

Me any people try and use a lot of sodium and pepper in their eggs, however what works for me, may not be the best for you, and I'm not licensed in the area of nutrition however I have done my fair share of research, and - ITS WORKING!  BUT on the salt factor a lot of foods have natural forms of sodium, so don't over do it.

The next step in my breakfast process, while the eggs are finishing on their last side, I pull out the Vita-mix (the high grade blenders they use in smoothie shops like planet smoothie) and throw in some blueberries, banana, greek yogurt, and almond milk.

 Sometimes for fiber I try and a up chia seeds ( don't mistake this for the ones you grew as a child in that tacky ceramic setting ) these must be soaked for at least 30 mins - preferably in a soy/almond milk, therefore allowing the enzymes to break down making it easier for your body to digest.  Most times I'll use Kale if I'm using spinach in my eggs, however you can add anything to your smoothie.  Throw the variable speed to 10, switch the blade to HIGH, run to my bedroom, grab my HIV meds, and my 5 vitamins I take in the morning consisting of (2 multi-vitamins, b12, b6, biotin, vitamin C, D and E) and BAM 7 mins, your done!

- SIDE NOTE- avoid drinking during the eating process, its makes it easier on your stomach to properly digest without the mixture of liquids while you eat.

By now your probably saying, HOW THE HELL can I do all these things, well variations to the morning smoothie would include dishing up  a bowl of greek yogurt, or cottage cheese and adding your fruits to that :)

Once I have everything cleaned up, I'm usually starving again!! however chances are I'm late to the gym, so I try and get in a good 10 mins of cardio, and then an hour and  a half of muscle training.

Right after the gym, I used to come home and make one of those cheap $20 muscle milk shakes, or I'd sit and mash up a rice protein powder into milk, which was utterly gritty and ...BLEHH. If you don't feel like shaking up a bunch of chemicals that you have no idea the names of, or don't feel like putting all that extra crap into your body, in the powder form that is, what has worked for me, is I come home and I make another smoothie, I yank out the vitaminx, throw in a handful of red kale leaves, spinach, beets, ginger root, cucumber, lemons, apples, carrots, flax seed (great for you) in the meantime, Im usually checking the twitter and emails, and figuring out what I need to do for the day, I run into my room, lay down face first on my bed, open up the Macbook Pro and open my blinds, the sun usually hasn't come up yet, and theres deer sitting outside my window eating grass looking in at me.

I'd say, and going back to the challenge of waking up early, you have so much more productive 'NO STRESS" time in the am, nobodies out on the roads at 5 am going to the gym, NOBODY IS AT THE GYM, for granted not everyone has a cushy life style such as mine, but REMEMBER, if you want to do something, you'll make time to do it, after all, your with it right? :)

I wouldn't necessarily recommend it but, I go through about 3 pots of coffee to myself every morning.  If thats not your forte, I'd definitely recommend, which I also do - you can go to Target/Walmart/Walgreens or fill up a gallon jug everyday of still water, and carry it around ALL DAY LONG, and finish it.  *side note - water is best consumed when its room temperature, yeah I know this sucks, cold water is so much more 'refreshing' but trust me!"

I'm sure your wondering, "Michael, what do you eat for a snack, don't you have protein bars!!" hell no! Those have so many bad things in them, for granted there QUICK EASY, and...hey! if your on the go, there simple right?  "READ THE LABEL"  counting carbs and calories doesn't do anything, THROW THE SCALE AWAY, it'll only make you feel worse.  Now for those of you, and you know who you are, who have to have your Coca-Cola, or your Diet-Coke <3 ... DO YOUR BODY A FAVOR.  On a daily basis I see so many people sitting in their cars at stoplights, or as I mentioned earlier they go to the gym with a soda, or energy drink *(of which the caffeine intake on those is so ridiculous, all your asking for is a crash!!)* why put something into your body that gives you a quick fix of sugar? WHYNOT? :) first of all they taste good, but TRUST ME, go 5 days, change your diet, don't drink juice from concentrate, "WELCHES, isn't juice!"  A lot of those cranberry cocktail things with pomegranant aren't bad, however I do 3 parts water to 1 part concentrated juice... you do the math.  :)

Alright BACK ON TRACK!  BY THE WAY, for those who are still following, I wrote this lil diet secret because, first, theres a million and one different opinions, what may work for me, and does work for me, MIGHT NOT work for you. So whatever tips I'm offering are because I feel like the things I've learned everyone should be able to at least try, and improve their quality of life from.

Lunch, I try and stay with a light salad, usually, olive oil dressing (and for those of you who love to feel like your swimming in a land of KY jelly in your salad, you don't need that much dressing!!!  Its impractical. I try and limit myself to mushrooms, peppers, herbs, all of which I grow at home.

If I want to have a snack, I usually get out the food processor at the beginning of the week and throw in a couple tomatos, onion, cilantro, and salt and pepper and BAM! salsa, its light, its easy, and I know where its coming from and whats in it.

Dinner, ranges from, grilled chicken, to pan seared tilapia, with light spices, occasionally have steak, paired with baked red skinned potatoes and peppers in a ceramic dish and baked.  Steamed vegetables are always with every meal for dinner, unless I decide to just blend everything up into a smoothie.

Tips....or food for though :D

- Take it easy on the concentrated juices
- Go easy on the salt
- Stay clear of soda/energy drinks
-No candy bars/protein bars (look for alcohol sugar on label)
-Stay as natural as possible
-You are what you eat

Just because its plant based, or organic, doesn't mean it has to taste bad, so many health shows for food talk about you have to eat plants, and you say to yourself, ' I'm better off just eating it out of the ground' NOT TRUE!  Just ease yourself into it, good nutrition, and eating right, doesn't and won't happen open night, you know your body, acquire a taste for what you already like, and add things in and see what you like.  I guarantee you that you'll feel better, results may not always happen immedietly but eating better, I PROMISE that you'll have a more focused mind, and a better mood, and more NATURAL energy.

twitter: mikeslloyd
blog: givinghopeonedayatatime.blogspot.com
facebook: www.facebook.com/mikeslloyd
email: mikelloyd1989@gmail.com

Michael Lloyd Bio


  Michael Lloyd is a 22 year old, male living in Orlando, Florida, he spends most of his time, working out at the gym and eating healthy.  Over the past two and a half years since his HIV diagnosis, he's come to realize a lot of things, one of which, "life isn't guaranteed' and within that, everyone who comes in and out of our lives is a gift" Michael says. Being so young, living with HIV, Michael has come to terms with the virus, and after a rocky road dealing with a methamphetamine addiction, he is striving each and every day in moving forward to a brighter, happier future.   He accredits most of his moral's and values to his faith in God, and you'll always find him thanking his family for their unconditional love and support. Life wasn't meant to be easy, but its up to each and everyone of us to determine which pieces of the puzzle we want to utilize.  

           Through working with personal training, and inspiring others to incorporate better living techniques in their everyday lives, Michael uses this as his anti-drug.  Michael say's ''We are all in this fight to stop the spread of HIV together, nobody is in this for competition, and nobody is any better than anyone else, the beauty of it all is, WE EACH HAVE A VOICE, and we should bless others with the chance to hear our voice.  

    More recently Michael has started an online radio show, entitled, "Straight to the Point with Michael Lloyd" on Blogtalkradio at 6:30pm on Friday's,  in hopes to put a twist, and alternate perspective on many social, health, entertainment topics that go on every day.  He has appeared on POZ I AM Radio with Hosts Robert Breining and Jeremy Dunn, and in his later work was a guest on the Paul and Matty Show for World AIDS Day.  He currently working hand in hand with Hope & Help of Central Florida on the Board of Directors for the Head Dress Ball 2012 - Twisted - An Evening Under The Rainbow on the sales committee.  

Michael's interview from POZ I AM Radio - 


Straight to the Point with Michael Lloyd- Week 1, Guest Adam Barta 


Straight to the Point with Michael Lloyd - Week 2, POZ I AM creator: Robert Breining


Interview with Paul and Matty Show for World AIDS Day in 2011.


Michael's Twitter: @mikeslloyd
Straight to the Point Radio Twitter: @PointPozitive

Michael's Facebook: www.facebook.com/mikeslloyd
Straight to the Point Radio Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StraightToThePointRadio

Michael's Email: mikelloyd1989@gmail.com
Straight to the Point Radio Email: straighttothepointradio@gmail.com

Phone: (407)267-1110