Wednesday, November 30, 2011

a little thing called life

Life is what you make it out to be, but what defines life, is it something that merely is word used to describe your every day routine, or is it more so personal in that it’s a depiction of your inner soul….
Many of you probably have already made it to work today, and are already finishing your second cup of coffee or maybe your on your way to get your cup of hot starbucks to start your day, or like myself your working from home. What routine do you follow do you wake up, pull up the NYTimes app on your phone, or like myself you have to check and see whose on Grindr. Breakfast may follow shortly thereafter, or you may hop in the shower, frantically dry off and throw on a fresh suit, spritz on the closest cologne fragrance in grasp and then wipe on some deodorant and gargle with mouth wash before heading out the door. We all have a routine we follow to start our day. For others it mayconsit of laying in bed all morning, maybe making a fresh pot of cheap coffee, having a frozen prefabricated, artificial overload flavored breakfast, and then catching up on reruns on the DVR before getting up to start your day.

For the longest time, I was an indvidual who would lay around in bed, and answer emails, and texts on my phone, amongst other distracting applications and before I knew it, the clock said 1pm. I usually showered, and then maybe ran out with a close friend of mine, to get a beer, and then came home just as mom was starting dinner, and then I’d be up til the crack of dawn bullshitting online. Amongst the many distractions I seemed to find comfort in, to sway away from “life” I said to myself for the past 3 years, what was I accomplishing, if anything at all? However solitiude is when you find yourself, regardless of the countless times in which I seeked approval in other aspects of my ‘life’, I never found myself. Approval was sought in so many areas, the simple acceptance from a random stranger at a bar, not even to listen to what the other person was saying, but merely the satisfaction, that someone wanted to listen to me. Sounds silly right? Well other than being self absorbed, I began to realize, what is it about my ‘life’ that I find so undesireable that I can’t seek out the positives in myself and succeed? I mean after all, I could be living a life of a poor Romanian boy on the streets of Oradea if my amazing parents didn’t adopt me, Mark and Lori Lloyd. Sometimes I stop and think during my times of sulking, what would my life be like, if I wasn’t given this amazing opportuinity here in America. At the same time, I am ever so thankful for everything my parents have done for me. In those down times, where I find myself in bed for three days without showering, or even moving from my bed, what do I have to be ungrateful for?

The weekend before thanksgiving, I actually splipped up with drugs, and went on a 4 day binge, I had an amazing birthday trip planned to come to New Jersey to spend time with friends, and celebrate my birthday. The days before, I was grouchy, and quite frankly what would any trip to the northeast do to make me happy. However, thinking back, the countless times I sulked and complained about life, why do I resort back to drugs. I think it has to do with that little word called ‘life’, which is far greater than a little mere word in our vocabulary. Going back to my days spent in bed til 1pm, I believe we condition ourselves nad become accustom to a way of living, and I suppose I told myself, based off of nothing anyone else said to me, that I didn’t really have one. Also many of you are aware of my passion to help those who have gone through a similar past as myself with the addiction process, and some say; ‘well Michael how are you qualified to start a non profit if in fact you slip up and relapse on drugs’ good question? In the same respect, someone offered you another chance when you were late to work, or didn’t finish something and nearly lost your position in the company you work for. Are they comparably valid, I’m not sure, but we all are entitled to happiness and the ability to succeed in life.

On my trip here in New Jersey I have become more aware of whats important in life, I have started a charity for my birthday to raise money for Hope & Help in Central Florida, as a birthday wish for anyone to donate anything they can to help those affected by HIV and AIDS. Its an amazing 501c3 organization and 90 cents to every dollar is turned around for good in the community they specialize in counseling and life coaching, as that is something I am very passionate about. Life as one chooses to see is it in my own words, up to you, personal, and sacred to you. I don’t think its about what you do, what you have or who you are, but more so how you see it, and those around you. I have found anew passion of raising money for charities, and this morning have signed on to be ateam leader for the AIDS walk in Orlando in March, I will be pulling together a team of 10 people and we each plan on raising atleast 100 dollars ☺. I challenge many of you to support me in this, as HIV and AIDS, as it is not as much a stigma as it once were, but is still a huge epidemic in our everyday lives.

Please direct your generosity and good energy here:

In the "donation purpose" field, please enter "Michael Lloyd's Birthday request"

Together, we are saving lives and showing our neighbors affected by HIV/AIDS they are not alone!

Hope and Help Center of Central Florida, Inc. HIV/AIDS Awareness and Assistance, Orlando AIDS/HIV Te
The Hope and Help Center of Central Florida's mission is to save lives by treating and preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS in Central Florida. Orlando AIDS Testing, HIV/AIDS Education

Friday, November 18, 2011

My Birthday/Christmas Wish to all of you.

For many of you the next few weeks to come are going to be strenuous, stressful, and above all, more blessed than any of us really can fathom at one given time. The holiday season is filled with joy, happiness, and showering of love and generousity. For myself for years, as many of you know I was blessed enough to have two of best parents in the world, anyone could ever ask for, Mark and Lori Lloyd, who adopted me from an orphanage, brought me to this country and offered me alife in which, I probably would have never had otherwise, every Christmas, was a morning with not one wink of sleep the night before, of course the following day was filled with baking cookies for santa, and dumping every last dusting of sprinkles on the floor for the sugar cookies, which at the time looked like crap but, it was always a tradition. Even now, we have the traditions reigning still, the family advent time after a great Sunday evening dinner, with our eggnog, in the same red christmas glass cups we've been drinking out of since we came together as a family. Over the years however as many of you also know I have made decisions, based on lack of self respect and poor judgement due to getting in with the wrong crowd, and getting into drugs, alcoholism, and sex addiction, although I realize these choices have altered my quality of life, only slightly though, I accept these, and again have been more than blessed with the oppportunity to have health insurance, and an amazing doctor and team to look at my HIV/Hepatitis C needs.

For my 22nd Birthday this year I would like to take the spotlight off me me, for the next 2 weeks, and as Worlds Aids Day is remembered on December 1st, I would like, any of you, who have followed me through this journey, those of you who have helped me over come obstacles, and those of you who have been by my side since day one, to donate whatever you can, perhaps even only a mere dollar, to Hope & Help, an organization in Central Florida, to help those who are in need in the community with HIV/AIDS. I know its not asking much, but to those unlike myself, who weren't offered the prestine life in which I was given so easily, and still have, to help out this organization so they can go out in the community, would more than anything bring tears of happiness to my eyes, and far exceed any birthday phone call, greeting, or any christmas card. Thank you all so much.

Love, Michael.


Please direct your generosity and energy here.

In the "donations purpose" field, please enter, "Michael Lloyd's Birthday request"

Together we are saving lives and showing our neighbors affected by HIV/AIDS they are not alone!