S-E-X or L-O-V-E MAKING

What the FIRST thing that comes to mind when you see the three letter word?  Is it a visual of the male anatomy, a man and woman together, the female anatomy, or man on man, or woman on woman?  Or if your a romantic is it the unity between two energies, two souls, making one, and sharing that bond between the other, that when experienced, is entirely unachievable by any sexual act amongst the joining of two naked beings.

Been wanting to write about this for the past year and a half, but out of all honesty what would a 19 almost 20 year old have had any common knowledge about S-E-X, or L-O-V-E? Good question.

I look at it this way, from a young age, around 15, for me personally, the attraction to another human being was merely on the basis of erotic pleasure.  However over the years, meeting others, both male and female and talking to them, what is it that brings a man and a woman, woman and a woman, or man and a man together to join energy?  Is it a physical attraction, only desiring an easy goal that each can achieve which would be the selfish desire to "get off," and what determines that?  What attracts you sexually to someone?

  For me, its someone's eyes.  Indeed eyes can draw you in and never release you for eternity, HOWEVER, is that a good thing or bad thing? For myself it was a bad thing in the start because it brought me into the world of methamphetamine drugs and emotional turmoil, and caused a sex addition. Your probably asking, how can someone's eyes bring you so close to the point of no return?  Well first one has to ask, what's the point of no return, and that is when you blink, in my opinion.  Simply because I knew how deeply I wanted to be drawn in, and for that matter was it to be accepted or was it to be selfish and just "blow a load" and I could tell there was a strong energy between the two?  More often than not the two coincided.

Alright, getting back on track, for others of you the simply 'sexual' attraction may be a mans nipples, or the curvature of his back muscles, or a woman's perfect curves, and perfectly sculpted breasts.  And when we combine the two attractions, which I refer to as an energy, the combinations exerts so much power that, we can get lost in that and lose touch on what that really is for us, is that sex, or love?

 I have quite a few friends who refer their relationship with someone else as an open relationship,  more or less this is quite prominent in the homosexual community.  For myself, raised in a Christian household, and watching my parents, who to the day are still together after 23 years; monogamy is what I believe.  So when I hear that your in an open relationship, and that is love to you, its hard to comprehend, and this is the point in the blog where your probably either going to stop reading, because; 'what does a 21 year old know about love, or sex, or relationships?'  Your probably correct, but I believe wisdom, which is acquired over time whether thats from someone in their 80's or a 10 year old little girl, is knowledge obtained through trial and error, or from that of another source that is worth hearing out, because after all, isn't that how you became knowledgeable of your belief on a subject? :).

Back to the open relationship, sorry my mind wanders.  Then again, whats the point about blogging if your mind cant wander, right.  I've known couples in relationships for 10-20 years, and they say, if he can come home to me at the end of the night, and make 'love' to me, then I don't care what he does on the side.  My question is; before you two became a couple, were you both not giving it your "best" to each partner before him, and what determines your best?  What is determined as love making and sex, well I am finally going to give you my explanation.  From experience,  when  your able to land a kiss on someone, and the world seems to crash around you, the walls crumble, the celing fans drop, the clouds drop to your feet, and the stars fall and fly around your heads, and nothing in the world seems to matter, and your able to meet that person, on an intimate level, (which I tried looking up in the dictionary, and thesaurus, but, the definition, was so vague, "close to someone") and wrap your legs around their waist, and squeeze them tight, and get lost in that person, and be able to know them inside and out, yes, INSIDE and out blindfolded and know exactly who they are then in my opinion thats intimacy.  In addition, side note, which I'll explain later on this evening, about 'relationships; are they friendships, or luck of the draw?'  in order for one to achieve that level of passion between onesself and another being you have to be friends with them to truely understand their physical, intellectual and sexual make up to actually distinguish between sex and love.  A strong intellectual bond is quite important in my humble opinion to good sex, because, if you go to suck someones cock, and "they don't enjoy it" and they don't tell you, then its going to be bad sex.  As for me personally, I make it a point sexually to understand my partner before I would bother going down, just saying.  

Going back to the non monogamous couple;  if my boyfriend were to go out and shove his manhood in someones back door ever night, and come home and do the same to me, and tell me he loves me night aftrer night for 20 years; is that love, or is it just "SETTLING" for something that you know your worth achieving, but ultimately, you chose to take what you could get, and you found someone you so desperately love , but, why is it that one may have the desire to run out and show his body to another person.  In my opinion, thats just sex, and thats all it would ever be in a setting like that.  Just saying; I hope none of this was of any condescending manner, as I don't want to upset anyone, and I apologize for rambling just wanted to put out a little thought.

Hope everyones work day was fantastic, drive home safely, and have a good night.

-M