Is enough enough?

alright, I'm sure many of you in the gay community whose major cities just had their pride parades, and circuit parties, or gay days, are asking yourself; "where did this hickey com from, why did I have sex with him,  or maybe the further question which I'm going to get into is, do I deserve better for myself?

as for myself I used to be one who picked up the pipe every few months, and did a puff until the point where shoving a needle in my arm every day was just as acceptable to those of you who smoke a cigarette, except for me it was also 2 packs a day in the addition to going out for several rounds of tequila shots.  and you this went on for MONTHS.  And after being diagnosed with HIV in the early part of last year, the problem increased, and it wasn't until after I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C from using a dirty needle, someone asked me, why the hell is it okay for you to treat yourself like absolute garbage when you have an amazing family who brought you here, friends who would do anything in the world for you if you needed, and still, that wasn't enough for me.

Well, again of course, it went on, until the beginning of this year, and finally I got to a point where I was kicked out of my parents home, to realize, do I love myself, enough to want to take a breath anymore, and the answer was no.  the partying and the crowd of those I associated with who I thought were my friends "didn't care about me, I didn't care about them, and ultimately the lifestyle was tearing me apart." going back to being asked to move out, I finally gained self respect for myself because finally I had to earn it, and work for what I wanted and I was able to respect myself.

In closing what I will leave you with this afternoon, is what does it take to say enough is enough?