the stonemason and his work..

what must it take for a stonemason to build the facade to a home? is it merely an imagination, an idea, a dream, or something real? and once he figures out what that vision is, and where it comes from, how will he go about doing it.

what makes us happy, is it the vision we all have to be like our parents, to hold the 23 years of marriage, to build a family, or is it set by the standards we see in society, in seeing these things we ask ourselves where did these goals come from and how were they achieved.. So much deep thought, but if your ready to dive in with me, shut off your phone, close the Facebook tab,turn off Skype for 5 minutes and take a journey with me.


We all have our dream homes we see either in passing, or ones nin which we grew up in, and ultimately, we put each together and once were old enough we have the opportunity to combine them and make our own vision we do. Well such is life isn't it? As the stonemason chooses each brick meticulously to put on the front of the house, we collect ideas, visual, auditory, and memory recollected to base what we want our life to be right? Essentially when were born we all are struck with a multitude of an incomprehensible amount of sights, sounds, feelings; from the bright lights of a delivery room, being carried from doctor to nurse, to mother, to father, and back to table, all so sudden, but all the while, the most crucial period of a newborns life is those moments. What is it about those minutes that are so important. Are we brought into this world alone, by a mother, and left, or are we surrounded by an enormity of family members, a room full of 3 generations, all sharing this moment, that you won't remember but will be marked in their memories for eternity. The birthing of a child is so precious, as I have not yet witnessed although its so beautiful to me. The bond between a grandparent, the mother, and the newborn child, all sharing this bloom of life, intellectual birth, emotional birth, and physical climax of months growing.

When asked what it feels like to be 90, and how shed made it this long, she said, I don;t think about it, and it doesnt phase me. Up until last night I was an emotional wreck about this entire trip to see her for her 90th birthday. It was the reality that no matter what anyone could do, at some point life will take its course, and she will eventually pass on to be with Jesus, not to say at the current time her health isn;t outstanding. For granted when we arrived could tell she has slowed down, and isn't the same as she once was, but essentially, shes still Grandma, the same one who was there for my moms wedding, the same one who brushed the tears from her eyes when her husband died, in 1992, the same one who always and still does brush our boots off from being out in the snow. I talk about things in such a grim way, or as if shes already passed on. But I suppose emotionally I look at things this way to try and cope with the reality of what could be and is the unknown future. A few nights a ago, I sat with her and went through several photo albums, some from her trips to europe, some from cruises, and just family photos, and I learned so much about her in those brief moments. To see her light up with excitement when a picture came up that she hadn't seen in 60 years, and then she pulled out another book and pieced each picture and event together, creating what almost felt like a visual memory timeline in mid air as she talked about everything. Just as the stonemason picks his materials for the project, she went back through her mind, of each event and pieced it together and I learned how she got to where she was. :). Its still sad to me, but when she shared at the table last night that shes not gone crazy yet because she minds her own business. Makes sense, but still will be sad tomorrow afternoon when its time to leave, a dear friend in my life in Philadelphia has told me when leaving relatives, its never a goodbye, its a see you nexttime. Its still going to be really emotional, after all for the past 15 years she weeps as we leave, its going to be even more difficult tomorrow I;m sure for all of us. It was quite difficult to sit and listen to all the siblings go over the will, and power of attorney paperwork, and other health related documentation. all of which is very much so the present but at the same time isn't something we want to accept. But I believe the circle of life is what makes us grow up, and seeing someone's life progress, allows us to mature and appreciate who we are and where we come from.